


His Everything Was Taken, So He Gave Everything Back

by PrettyGirl24



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Sex, Everyone is of age, M/M, No on screen self-harm, One character sees scars and they talk about it, Triggers, lots of fluff, more like a small bit of angst with a happy ending, past self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-06-01 21:50:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6537532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyGirl24/pseuds/PrettyGirl24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jihoon, Woozi, is on his way to be a idol. He and his team, SEVENTEEN, have been working so hard for so many years and they're finally here. They're finally getting their debut. Their dreams are finally coming true, and just when Woozi thought his day couldn't get any better, his long lost love comes home. Woozi hasn't seen Alex since he mysteriously disappeared on the best day of Woozi's life, his ring ceremony that brought him into the life of SEVENTEEN. Now here he is again with an explanation that Woozi wasn't expecting. Can Woozi open his heart and let his first love back in, or will he forever be heartbroken and unfixable?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The End of Today and the Beginning of Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys, it's PrettyGirl24! I came back to reread this on a whim and was completely appalled with my spelling and grammar so I have fixed a reuploaded a better version. This one came to me while I was watching the SEVENTEEN project a couple days ago. It's going to have a couple chapters and a bit of smut. I hope you enjoy!

It was finally over.

They had done it.

Seventeen's Jihoon almost cried when he say the screen lift up to reveal the parents holding their rings. It felt so good to be held by his dad as he actually did cry into his shoulder as his father put his ring back on his pinky finger. After he got his tears under control he separated from his dad to hug his mom. Only to find that she wasn't there. He turned to his dad to ask where she was when he heard a voice that he hadn't heard since he got his ring.

"Jihoon-oppa!" A little girl's voice shrieked.

Moments later he was tackled by said girl and several other bodies. He laughed though when he felt the familiar weight of Jaeseop’s family on his back. They all laughed as they fell to the floor and the youngest girl, Areum, threw herself into his arms.

“I’ve missed you so much Oppa!”

“I’ve missed you too.” He replied, and then looked up at the oldest, Bora who was holding the hand of the youngest, a four-year-old named Taehyun, and said, “What are you guys doing here?” Then he stopped. If they were here than so was..."Where's Jaeseop-hyung?"

Bora opened her mouth to answer, but Areum beat her to it.

“We come back because Jaeseop-oppa can see you without getting arrested now! Though he thinks you hate him because of Mr. Evil CEO so he won’t leave the back room.” She said glaring at the CEO.

Jihoon looked up at Bora in confusion, “What?”

Bora just sighed and said, “The CEO put a restraining order on Jaeseop-oppa, which made it to where he couldn’t be within twenty feet of you before your debut.”

Jihoon mouth dropped open in shock, “Why the hell would the CEO but a restraining order on Jaeseop-hyung?”

“Oh, he did so much more than that.” The second oldest, Taihee, said, “He bought us a place in China and transferred Jaeseop-hyung’s contract to the company there. He even went as far as to shut down all of Jaeseop-hyungs’s bank accounts to make sure he left.”

“When did this happen? Why did it happen?”

“Your ring ceremony.” The third youngest, Taewon, said. “We were standing in the back watching you and cheering, but as soon as the CEO was done speaking, he pulled Jaeseop-hyung aside. After the actual ceremony, Ailee-noona took us home to get ready for the party we had planned for you. Jaeseop-hyung came home later with the saddest look I’ve ever seen on his face and just told us to pack before throwing a bunch of papers on the table and going to his room.”

“As for why”, Bora continued, “Jaeseop-oppa was going to be your adviser during your project time and the CEO thought that, with your relationship, that you two wouldn’t be able to be professional and that Jaeseop would play favorites.”

“Wait, Jaeseop?” Seventeen’s leader and Jihoon’s close friend, Seungcheol or S. Coup, asked, “Park Jaeseop, the composer from our trainee days who left without saying goodbye on one of the best days of our lives? That Jaeseop?”

“Yes that Jaeseop. He had a good reason for leaving,” Bora replied, glaring at Seungcheol.

“Maybe so, but I knew Jaeseop too and he was very resourceful. There’s no way that a restraining order was able to keep him away from Jihoon. Not if Jihoon meant as much to him as Jaeseop swore he did.”

“That is true.” The CEO finally spoke up, he had been watching the conversation with interest. “Jihoon was the most important thing in Jaeseop’s life, second only to blood his family. I knew that I knew that a simple restraining order would not be enough. So I threatened his love, I told him that if he was seen within 100 feet of Jihoon, that I would cut Jihoon off the team and make it to were Jihoon would never debut as long as he lived."

"Jaeseop didn’t leave because I threatened him, he left because I threatened you.” He said turning to Jihoon.

“He left because you achieving your dream, was more important to him that his own happiness. You are very lucky to have someone who loves you the way Jaeseop does. I recommend you treasure him with all that you have because you will not find someone like him again.”

“Where is he?” Jihoon asked, unsure of how he’d react when he saw the man he loved again.

“He’s in the back room.” Bora replied, “Your mom is trying to convince him to come out.”

“Does he not want to see me?” Jihoon asked, confused and hurt.

“He does, trust me, he’s just scared of your reaction. He believes that you hate him, and doesn’t want to ruin your big day with his presence. Your mom, of course, told him he was being an idiot and is literally trying to drag him out by his ear. Ailee-unnie is helping.”

Jihoon smiled at the image, he understood why Jaeseop was nervous. If Jaeseop had just walked in here before someone had explained what he now knew, it probably would have ruined his day. 

“That’s fine. It’s probably best if we talked alone anyway.” Everyone nodded his or her heads in understanding before Jihoon walked backstage.

 

Jihoon heard the sound of arguing almost as soon as he walked backstage. He followed it until he came to one of the waiting rooms.He braced himself before knocking on the closed door.

When the door opened he was looking at his mother. He smiled at her before bowing to Ailee and then focusing on Jaeseop.

He looked nice. On the surface that is, but Jihoon could see under the make-up and, honestly, Jaeseop looked like shit. His once flawless and shiny curly black hair is now neatly styled but without any shine. His beautiful green eyes, that were Jihoon’s favorite thing about his appearance, are now dull and lifeless without the mischievous gleam that never failed to drive Jihoon crazy, with love or anger depended on the situation. There were also hints of dark bags under his eyes that were covered with make-up. And the muscle definition in his arms and chest that he was so proud of was significantly diminished.

Jihoon came out of his thoughts when his mother cleared her throat and realized that he had been quiet for too long. He turned to his mom and Ailee and said, “Can you give us a minute please?”

She and Ailee just nodded and left. Jihoon turned bad to Jaeseop who had been silent this whole time and watched him for a minute more before saying, “Well you look like shit.” Jaeseop chuckled, ducking his head as a relieved smile lit up his face.

“Only the best for you, Amore Cara.”

Jihoon smiled at Jaeseop’s use of his nickname. Jaeseop was born and raised in Italy before moving to Korea. He had taken to calling Jihoon 'amore cara' a short time after their first kiss but refused to tell him what it meant, only saying it was an endearment. Jihoon had looked it up not long after he had figured out that Jaeseop wasn't coming back. Amore Cara simply meant darling love.

“I never believed you when you used to say that. I always thought it was just you being cute. Now I know you were quite serious about it.”

“They told you what happened?” Jihoon nodded. “And do you believe them?”

There was a hopeful sound in Jaeseop’s voice and a bit of the shine came back into his eyes.

“Well unless you paid off everyone who knew the story, there’s no way they would all get all of the details right, so yeah I believe them.” Jaeseop still looked unsure, as if he didn't know what to make of Jihoon's tone and the way he was wording his answers.

“So you don’t hate me?”

Jihoon shook his head, “While I don’t think we can immediately go back to the way we were, I don’t hate you and I do want you back in my life.”

Jihoon was shocked to look up and see Jaeseop's eyes tearing up. He’d only seen Jaeseop cry once and that was the day of his older sister’s funeral. Jaeseop had curled up in Jihoon's lap and had let Jihoon hold him as he let out all the pain of being left behind. Now, Jaeseop was trying not to cry out of relief and joy of not being rejected. It was a side of Jaeseop that Jihoon thought he would never see.

Jihoon gathered himself and walked over to Jaeseop before wrapping Jaeseop up in his arms. There was an obvious height difference between them but that didn’t matter right now. It had been too long since Jihoon last got to hold Jaeseop and he could feel him body releasing all the tension he had pent up since Jaeseop left. That feeling of relief was over shadowed by worry when Jihoon noticed that he could feel each individual rip in Jaeseop's chest. 

“Hey, hey,” Jihoon said cupping Jaeseop’s face to get Jaeseop to look at him, “It's okay. We can be together now. How about after this you take me out to our favorite cafe and we just sit and talk. I want to know everything that happened while you were gone, starting with why you feel like you haven’t eaten in weeks. Okay?”

Jaeseop smiled at him through his tears, “Okay.”

“Awesome, are you ready to go out now?”

“Yeah, yeah I think so,” Jaeseop said dabbing the tears and snot off his face with a fucking handkerchief. Where did he even get that?

“Good, let's go.” Jihoon smiled and held out his hand, which Jaeseop took with a smile.

“Yes, lets.”


	2. Professional?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woozi and Alex are working on their relationship and it is slowly but surely working. They have a heart-to-heart and Alex shows some of his skills. And FLUFF!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys here's chapter two! I know it's kinda short but please tell me what you think!

The next few months went by fast with SEVENTEEN preparing for their debut. They're all excited and nervous every because they're not only performing for a whole hour, but there also introducing a new song called 'Adore You'. Things between Jaeseop and Jihoon have also been going well. They make time to talk to each other every day on video chat or text and meet for lunch once a week. Jaeseop is also helping with the recording of the new song, which is where the couple is having their first problem.

Jihoon is a bit mean when he is advising the other members, he tends to be a bit rough with them and while it gets results, Jaeseop doesn't really approve. Jaeseop eventually brought it up and argued some very good points, but Jihoon won in the end. Even though Jaeseop has backed down Jihoon can still feel Jaeseop's disapproval whenever they record.

They’re having a really ruff day about a month out from the performance while trying to record Hansol’s rap. This confuses Jihoon because Hansol has always been very good at recording and it only takes him a couple times to get down, but now something is missing. This missing puzzle piece makes Jihoon more and more frustrated, which just seems to be making the problem worse.

Jaeseop finally steps in say, “Jihoon-ah, if I may, I’d like to try something.”

“What do you mean?” Jihoon snapped a bit too sharply.

“Can I have a moment to advise Hansol?"

Jihoon sighs, “Might as well, we aren’t getting anywhere.”

“Thanks, babe,” Jaeseop replies and winks making Jihoon blush like mad.

Jaeseop walks up to Jihoon’s shoulder from where he had been leaning on the wall and leaned over him to press the button that would allow Hansol to hear them. Jaeseop leans forward into Jihoon's body and Jihoon could practically feel Jaeseop's smirk when he shivered at the sudden contact.

"Hi Hansol."

"Hi" Hansol answered.

"Tell me", Jaeseop continued, "Did you write these lyrics?"

"Yes."

"Awesome now do these lyrics mean anything to you?" Hansol gave Jaeseop a supposed look that showed that he was just as confused as Jihoon was at the question.

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. Do these lyrics have to mean to you?"

Hansol just looked at him, confused.

"By your look, I'm going to guess no. Hansol, you have two problems at the moment. One is that you write lyrics that don't mean anything to you. Two you have the wrong mindset."

"For a singer or, in your case, a rapper to perform a song to the best of their ability, they need to write lyrics that have to meaning to them. A song is a story that the artist is trying to get across to the audience. Take Jihoon for example, to him this song is for the fans. It's a thank you for their support. For Seungcheol it's for the group. He's convening his love of you guys through the lyrics and the way he performs. You have to find that. You have to find your reason to sing this song and these lyrics you wrote."

"The second thing, that I mentioned before, is that you have the wrong mindset. You're on autopilot, just going through the motions. You can't do that if you want to sing to the best if your ability."

"What's your passion?" Jaeseop suddenly

"What?" Hansol seemed surprised by the sudden question.

"What's your passion?" Jaeseop asked again. "What is that thing that makes you happy. What is the thing you love to do above everything else? Besides rapping and dance of course."

"Basketball," Hansol answered, understanding what he was being asked.

"Did you play for a team before joining SEVENTEEN?"

"Yeah. We won every game."

"That's awesome. Now I want you to think about what you think about when you enter a game. I want you to remember how you feel when you have the basketball and you're going down the court. I want you to remember how you felt we you made the shoot. Now I want you to feel that when you rap this. I want you to put all of those emotions into this song that stays in that headspace. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. Now I want you to go about your day and remember what I've said and next time I see you in this studio I want you to have a reason to sing and be in the right headspace. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now get!" Jaeseop said with a smile as Hansol left before looking down at Jihoon.

"So how was that?"

"It would have been better if you got him to sing correctly, but it wasn't bad."

Jaeseop smirked at him, "Come on. Let's get you to bed."

"Why? It's only 10 and I have work to do."

"Just because you can doesn't mean you should. You need to sleep when you can."

"Fine," Jihoon said with no true conviction to actually sleep, but Jaeseop knew him too well and when they got back to the dorm, Jaeseop made sure that Seungcheol would make Jihoon sleep. He gave Jihoon one last hug before winking at Seungcheol and leaving.

 

It was a couple days later that something weird happened again. It was the anniversary of the SEVENTEEN's ring ceremony, so they took the day off of work to celebrate and just spend time with each other.

That's night after everyone had gone to bed; Jihoon was woken up by someone shaking his shoulder. He looked up to see Jaeseop leaning over him.

It was obvious that something was wrong because even in the terrible light Jihoon could see that his eyes were red and he was pale.

"Jaeseop-hyung? What is it? What's wrong?"

"Can I sleep here? With you?"

Jihoon looked at him in shock unsure of what to do.

"Please, Jihoon-ah, I just want to sleep. I just...I need to know you're here and that you don't hate me. I need to know that this past month hasn't been a dream. Please, I'll make sure to leave before they know I was here."

Oh. Ohh. Jihoon nodded in understanding and laid back down. Jaeseop undressed until he was down to his boxers and a long-sleeved nightshirt before crawling into Jihoon's bed. He manhandled Jihoon into the position he wanted, which had his right arm under Jihoon's back with his left on his stomach and his head pillowed on Jihoon's chest where Jaeseop could clearly hear his heart. Jihoon waited for Jaeseop to get comfortable before threading his fingers through Jaeseop's hair and massaging his scalp. He felt Jaeseop let out a sigh and relax into him. He continued until he fell asleep to the sound of Jaeseop's breathing.


	3. Jaeseop's Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stress is high for SEVENTEEN as their debut comes closer and we learn a bit about Jaeseop's past. WARNING: there are mentions of past self-harm in this chapter. If the bothers you, you can skip this chapter.

Jihoon was shaken awake the next morning while it was still dark.

"Hey," Jaeseop smiled down at him, "don't get up. I just wanted to tell you I was leaving so you wouldn't freak out when you woke up alone. I'll see you later okay?"

Jihoon just groaned and him which made Jaeseop chuckle and kiss him on the forehead before leaving. Jihoon didn't even hear the door open because he was already asleep.

 

The next time Jihoon woke up, it was to music and Seungkwan’s awful morning voice. Most people would think that, as a main vocal, Seungkwan’s voice would be beautiful all the time, but in the morning but was worse than his breath. Jihoon grabbed the phone playing the offending music and turned it off before closing his eyes again to hopefully catch a few more minutes of sleep.

It took him a minute to remember what happened the night before.

It was different.

Before it had been him going to Jaeseop about insecurities but this time Jaeseop came to him. Jihoon didn't realize how much he had needed that till now. He hadn't really thought about his and Jaeseop's relationship now that Jaeseop was back. Jihoon knew he was still in love with Jaeseop. He knew he wanted to continue their relationship, he just wasn't sure he could. While he trusts that Jaeseop won't leave him again and he forgives him. Jihoon just couldn't forget the feeling of being left. He couldn't forget how it felt to roll over and find that the bed is empty and he's in the dorm and not Jaeseop's arms. He did want to feel that again. He didn't want to be left again. But he also missed Jaeseop. He knew that Jaeseop would wait for him and wouldn't pressure him, but he also knew that Jaeseop couldn't hold out for forever. While he might not move on, he wouldn't be able to be around Jihoon anymore. And that's the last thing Jihoon wanted.

He was so confused. He knew he should talk to someone about it but it was kinda embarrassing. Jihoon sighed and got out of bed. He needed to think about something else.

Work and then decide who to talk to.

Jihoon sighed again. This was going to be a long day.

 

After what felt like the five thousandth performance of 'Adore You', Jihoon felt like falling over and sleeping wherever he landed.

This, of course, is when Seungcheol decides that it would be a good idea to pick a fight. Honestly, Jihoon didn't know if Seungcheol was actually looking for a fight or if he was just being sensitive. No matter if it was intentional or not, it turned into a fight. Which is what found Jihoon here, where he always goes when something is wrong, Jaeseop's family grave.

Jaeseop's family was far from perfect. Jaeseop was the third oldest of eight kids. They had moved to Korea from Italy when Jaeseop was sixteen and was writing his first song. When Jaeseop was seventeen, his older brother came out to his parents as gay. Needless to say, it didn't go well.

Jaeeun was disowned by the family and shamed in every way possible. About four months after this happened; Jaeeun was found dead on the street not far from the family home.

The police looked into it and two months after Jaeseop's eighteenth birthday it was found that his parents had hired someone to kill his brother. They were sentenced to be behind bars for the rest of their lives, leaving four kids and two adults.

Jaeseop's sister, Jiae, had become more and more unstable through the investigation so Jaeseop knew that she couldn’t take care of the kids, but he didn't want them to go into the system so he offered to take them in.

By this time Jaeseop had a stable contract with a music company and a nice place to live that could fit everyone. He was granted permission by the board and his family moved in with him.

It was about seven months after that that his sister committed suicide.

It was a blow that Jaeseop was kind of expecting but still unprepared for. Jaeseop had been hoping that having to help take care of the kids would help her recover, but he understood. Out of all of them, Jiae had been the closet to their parents and she a Jaeeun were basically twins. Jaeseop understood how losing both in quick succession had made her unstable. Not to mention the fact that they got a new baby dumped on them because their mom had been pregnant when she had been arrested.

This all happened about two years before Jaeseop meet Jihoon. Jihoon was introduced to Jaeseop by Aliee about two years into being a trainee. Jaeseop helped him perfect his voice and his songwriting. Jaeseop was surprisingly happy and open for someone who had been so beaten down by life, but he never acted jaded or unkind. He was always upbeat and optimistic. It was one of the reasons Jihoon had fallen in love with him.

Jihoon always came here, to their graves, when he was going through something. It helped remind him that what he was going through was nothing compared to what Jaeseop faced every day. His problems were nothing in comparison.

The first time he came here, he didn’t even know why he had done it. He and Jaeseop had had a fight about some stupid thing that he didn’t remember now, and the next thing he knew he was sitting in front of the graves with his knees under his chin. Just thinking of how to apologize for giving Jaeseop another problem to think about.

And that’s how Jaeseop found him. Jihoon hadn’t even heard him walk up, he was just suddenly there, pulling Jihoon into his arms and holding him tight. That was the night that Jihoon found out what really happened to v’s family, it was also the first night that Jihoon had slept in Jaeseop’s bed. It wasn’t sexual, they just needed to be together, needed to know the other was there.

That was the night Jihoon knew he was in love.

Ever since then, every time Jaeseop couldn't find him, he looked at the cemetery. And every time Jaeseop found him there, he would just wrap his arms around Jihoon and listen to him complain or cry about what had made him come here. Sometimes they just sat in silence if Jihoon didn't know what to say or it had been them fighting that found him in front of the family grave. If that was the case they just sat there until it got dark and they went back to Jaeseop's or one of them said sorry and they came to an agreement.

Today was no different. About an hour after Jihoon argument with Seungcheol, he felt Jaeseop wrap his arms around him. This time, though, it was Jaeseop who spoke first.

"You scared me y'know." He said leaning forward and putting his head on Jihoon's back, between his shoulder blades. “I couldn’t find you and, while some part of my brain told me to look here, I have no to information to confirm whether or not you still come here when you were upset. I thought you were gone, I thought you had left me.”

Jihoon wanted to point out that it happen Jaeseop who had left first, but he didn’t want to fight, he just wanted Jaeseop to hold him, he just wanted to remember what used to be.

Then out of nowhere, Jihoon realizes that it could be. All he had to do was tell Jaeseop that he wanted him, Jaeseop had made it very clear that Jihoon just had to say the word and Jaeseop would let him back in, no matter what. And God did Jihoon want that, he wanted what they used to have so badly, especially now. He didn't need to talk to anyone, he'd made up his mind.

That thought is what gives him the courage to turn to look at Jaeseop, to cradle his ridiculously sculpted chin and kiss him. He felt Jaeseop freeze for a beat before he was leaning into Jihoon and kissing him with all he had. Jaeseop pulled Jihoon closer until there was no room between them and kissed the air out of him, just like he used to when he came home from business trips to Jihoon waiting in the airport. It was perfect. It was everything Jihoon wanted. When they pulled apart, Jihoon rested his forehead against Jaeseop’s and smiled before saying,

“Is it a bit weird that we’re having our second first kiss in front of your family's grave?”

Jaeseop just chuckled a little breathlessly, and Jihoon grinned at the thought that it was his fault.

“Come on,” Jaeseop said after a minute, “let’s get you home, your group is worried about you.”

“Actually,” Jihoon started hesitantly, “could I stay with you tonight?”

Jaeseop looked at him, surprised.

“I don’t want to have sex, I just...I want to be near you.”

Jihoon didn’t know why he felt he had to clarify; Jaeseop had never pushed him for anything ever. When they had first gotten together and he had explained to Jaeseop that he simply wasn’t ready for that step in their relationship, Jaeseop had taken it in a stride. He told Jihoon that he would wait for him, even if that meant he only had his right hand for the rest of his life. Jihoon knew that it had been hard for him sometimes because he used to spend more nights at Jaeseop’s than at the dorm and during the summer they slept naked or in just their boxers because of the heat. Jihoon had often woken to Jaeseop taking care of himself in the bathroom after waking up hard. When asked about it, Jaeseop just said that Jihoon was really adorable when he slept and see all of him made Jaeseop hot and bothered. Jihoon had tried several times to work past his nervousness, but Jaeseop had stopped him each time. When Jihoon had argued, Jaeseop had simply said that he wanted to make love to Jihoon and that he couldn’t do that if sex was forced. Jaeseop had told him to wait till he was ready and Jihoon still wasn’t ready just yet.

Jaeseop smiled at him in understanding and held out his hand to help Jihoon up.

“Call Jeonghan to let him know you won't be coming back to the dorm tonight.”

“Thanks,” Jihoon replied, taking out his phone.

“Anything for you, Amore Cara.” Jaeseop smiled.

 

Jaeseop let him in when they got back to his house. Jihoon was surprised at how quiet it was, with five other children who also lived here.

“They're all asleep,” Jaeseop said, answering Jihoon’s unasked question. “I was putting them to bed when I got Seungcheol’s call about you being missing.”

The mentioning of his friend reminded Jihoon of why he’d been in the cemetery in the first place. Jaeseop seemed to be able to read his hurt and pulled him into a hug when they reached his bedroom.

“You know he didn’t mean what he said. You’re both stressed and sensitive with your debut coming up. You two should sit down tomorrow and talk it out, but for tonight let’s just forget about it okay?”

Jihoon just nodded and Jaeseop let go to change into a nightshirt as Jihoon just watched him. It was because he was watching so closely that he noticed the bandage that Jaeseop was trying to hide behind his sleeves.

“Jaeseop.”

He saw Jaeseop tense, obviously expecting a fight, and watched as he finished putting on the shirt before turning to face Jihoon. Jihoon sat on the edge of the bed in just his boxers and one of Jaeseop's shirts and motioned for Jaeseop to come forward, which he did cautiously. When Jaeseop was standing in front of him Jihoon held out his hand. When Jaeseop’s hand was in his, Jihoon took his sleeve and raised it to see the bandage that Jaeseop was hiding.

"What is this?" He asked, eyeing the bandage.

Jaeseop just looked down at the floor, not answering.

"Jaeseop, come on, what happened. Why aren't you talking to me?"

"Because I promised myself I wouldn't lie to you, but I don't want you to know the truth."

Jihoon's breath caught. He didm't like where this was going.

"Jaeseop you don't..." Jihoon let the sentence drop off, not really knowing how to ask the question he wanted to.

Jaeseop's body language was enough of an answer, though. His shoulders slumped and he looked anywhere but Jihoon's face.

"Why?" Jihoon asked his voice breaking from the unshed tears that can to eyes at the thought of Jaeseop in enough pain to result in more pain.

Jaeseop looked down for a moment but started talking when Jihoon tugged his sleeve.

"It started after my sister died. I was really low one night and was desperate so I tried it and in turn into a coping mechanism. I never cut deep enough for it to scar so after we got together and I stopped the lines went away. I started again when I was forced to leave you, this time I almost didn't care if it killed me. Subconsciously though I was careful and never cut on a vein and after I came back and we've started talking I've progressively gotten better."

Jihoon was crying now, thinking about how Jaeseop hurt himself for Jihoon's dream.

"Hey, it's not important right now, okay? I'll let you yell at me as much as you want in the morning but for now, let's just sleep. You need it."

Jihoon just nodded and let Jaeseop wipe away his tears before climbing into the bed and being pulled into Jaeseop's arms.

"We'll figure it out in the morning, okay?"

"Okay," Jihoon replied, and just like that night several weeks ago, Jihoon fell asleep to the sound of Jaeseop's breathing with the feel of his heartbeat under his hand.


	4. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SEVENTEEN finally debuts and Jihoon and Jaeseop prove their love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at the end guys! We did it! I was intending to add a final chapter but I like how this one ends and i don't really think that anything needs to be added. If you feel differently please let me know. WARNING!!! There is smut in this chapter! It's not very explicit and it's not very good but it is smut so if you don't like DON'T READ!!

The day had finally come.

After almost six years of training and hard work, SEVENTEEN is finally debuting.

Jihoon would be excited if he wasn’t so nervous. He barely paid attention to Seungcheol’s inspiring speech, as they got ready to go on stage. All he could think about was the new song that was going to be introduced today. He had worked so hard, with Jaeseop’s help, to make this song perfect as a thank you to the fans that had and were continuing to support his dream.

The directors finally called for SEVENTEEN to take the stage. Jihoon took a deep breath before walking onto the stage of his dreams for the first time.

 

Jihoon was exhausted.

SEVENTEEN had been on the debut stage for a whole hour. They had performed, answered questions, and then performed so more and now it was over. They were at the start of their career with a fan based and music made by Jihoon himself, but now Jihoon just wanted to sleep.

That not true.

Truthfully, Jihoon wanted to see Jaeseop. So instead of joining his team members and going back to the dorms for sleep, after his shower Jihoon got a taxi to Jaeseop’s place.

When Jaeseop answered the door he looked like a mess. His clothes had, what looked like, icing handprints all over and his hair was covered in flour. He had Taehyun, who was drinking milk from what looked like a SEVENTEEN sippy cup, in his arms and Areum asleep on his back.

“Hey,” Jaeseop said, out of breath from whatever they had been doing before Jihoon had shown up, “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be celebrating with your team.”

“I wanted to celebrate with my family instead but, from what I can see, that might have to wait for tomorrow.”

Jaeseop laughed softly, “Yeah, they wanted to make you a cake but it turned into a food fight.”

They laughed together softly, so they wouldn’t wake Areum before Jaeseopseemed to remember that they were in the doorway.

“Here.” He said, handing Tae to Jihoon before hefting up Areum so he could hold her more comfortably. “Help me put them to bed then we can talk.”

Jihoon followed Jaeseop through the house to the kid’s bedrooms. He stood in the doorway of Areum and Bora’s room while Jaeseop tucked Areum in before kissing her forehead and turning on her night light. He then went over to Bora, who was on her phone and kissed her forehead before telling her to get to bed soon and turning off the overhead light. He ushered Jihoon out of the room before closing the door and leading him to the room Teahyun shared with Taewon and Taihee and repeating the process. Once the door to the boy’s room was closed, Jaeseop took Jihoon’s hand and leading Jihoon to his room.

Once there, Jihoon sat on his bed while Jaeseop got ready for a shower. He knew that now was probably not the best time for what he was thinking, but he also knew that they wouldn’t have another opportunity for a while. With SEVENTEEN having just debuted and Jaeseop’s work schedule Jihoon knew that they wouldn’t be seeing each other much outside of video chats for a while.

Jaeseop had been back in his life for around two months now and if it was anyone else, Jihoon knew he wouldn’t be ready. But this was Jaeseop, this was the man that Jihoon loved and would continue to love. He wanted Jaeseop to be his first... if Jaeseop would have him of course.

Jaeseop came back into the room with nothing but a towel around his waist. Over the last months, Jaeseop had gained back a lot of the muscle he had lost while away, but he still didn’t have the really defined abs and pecks that he’d had before. Jihoon just stared at him for a moment while Jaeseop dried his hair, just drinking him in before talking.

“Jaeseop. I’m ready.” Jaeseop froze in his actions, looking ridiculous and unfairly hot towel drying his hair. Jihoon could already feel the curl of arousal in his lower parts, watching the water trace down Jaeseop’s chest and stomach.

“Jihoon,” Jaeseop replied slowly, “I’m not sure now is – “

“I’m ready now, Jaeseop.” Jihoon interrupted, “I have been for a while now and I realize now is not the best time but it’s the only time that we’re going to have for a while. I not willing to wait anymore. I want you.” The last part came out as a whisper not because Jihoon was embarrassed, but because he wasn’t. He just wanted Jaeseop to say yes.

Jaeseop walked toward him and took Jihoon’s face in his hands.

“Only if you’re absolutely positive that you are one hundred percent ready.”

“I’m positive. Please, Jaeseop, I really want you.” Jaeseop smiled at him, a little uncertain, before closing the last bit of distance between them and kissing him.

Kissing Jaeseop was one of Jihoon’s favorite things in the world. They were slow and chaste with all of Jaeseop’s love put into them. Jihoon never felt more wanted than when kissing Jaeseop.

This time, though, the kiss took a new turn. After a few moments, once Jaeseop was sure Jihoon wouldn’t pull away; he deepened the kiss and backed Jihoon up against the bed. Jihoon fell backward when the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed and pulled Jaeseop with him. They fell, laughing, in a pile of tangled limbs on the bed.

Jaeseop pushed up so he was hovering over Jihoon with both forearms caging Jihoon in and looked down at him with love and laughter in his eyes. Jihoon just smirked at him before pushing himself further onto the bed so his back was to the headboard. He looked back at Jaeseop and opened his legs in invitation before beckoning Jaeseop forward in what he hoped was a sexy way.

Jaeseop smirked and lost the towel before crawling up the bed toward him and kissing him chastity on the lips, making himself comfortable in the ‘v’ made by Jihoon’s legs. After a moment Jaeseop pulled away and looked at Jihoon seriously before asking, “How do you want to do this. Since it’s your first time, it might be better and more comfortable for you if you're on top.”

Jihoon smiled at how considerate Jaeseop was being, even if it wasn’t necessary. Jihoon knew what he wanted.

“Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I’ve never had something up my ass. I know what I want, Jaeseop, and that is me riding your cock till I pass out.”

Jaeseop moaned breathlessly at the bluntness of Jihoon’s words and his hips rocked into Jihoon’s of their own accord. Jaeseop leaned up to kiss Jihoon again while continuing the rocking of his hips to get them both hard.

After they were both worked up and panting, Jaeseop flips them over so he’s the one on his back and Jihoon is straddling his hips. Jihoon yelps at the sudden change of position, but continues to grind his dick into Jaeseop’s once they’re both settled.

Jaeseop pulls him into a rough kiss that is mostly teeth and tongue before Jihoon diverts his attention to Jaeseop’s neck. Jaeseop teaches him how to give a hickey while reaching over to grab the lube and condoms out of his nightstand drawer.

By the time Jaeseop manages to grab the lube and Jihoon figures out what Jaeseoplikes, one side of Jaeseop’s neck is completely covered in hickey of various colors. Jaeseop finally rids Jihoon of his boxers and hand Jihoon the lube.

“I want you to put on a show for me,” Jaeseop says when Jihoon raises an eyebrow at him. “I want to see you work for it.”

Jihoon shivers at Jaeseop’s words and is quick to open the lube and put a decent amount on his fingers. The idea of putting on a show as x rated, as this would normally make Jihoon nervous but for some reason, he feels completely comfortable and even sexy with Jaeseop gazing at him with eyes glazed over in lust.

Jihoon sits on his knees with his legs spread wide enough to give Jaeseop a good view of him working his index finger into his hole. It has been awhile since he had the time and privacy to do this, so he takes his time stretching himself for Jaeseop’s cock.

By the time Jihoon has three fingers working in and out of his asshole Jaeseop has a hand working his dick and is panting while watching Jihoon moan with his face full of pleasure as he hits his prostate. Even though he looks like he really wants to, Jaeseop has not once asked Jihoon to hurry up or tried to take control at any moment. Jihoon thinks that is reason enough to reward him.

Jihoon pushes Jaeseop back into the bed and knocks his hand away from his cock. Jaeseop reaches over from a condom, but Jihoon stops him.

“Baby, wha–?”

“Can we go without? I mean I know we’re both clean and I really want to feel you come in me.”

Jaeseop moaned and before nodding, “Yeah, baby, whatever you want Amore.”

Jihoon’s heart fluttered at the use of the endearments and he smiled as he slowly lowering himself down onto Jaeseop’s cock. They both moan in pleasure as Jaeseop bottomed out. Jihoon’s head falls forward and he slaps his hands onto Jaeseop’s chest as he struggles to hold himself upright under the pleasure of being filled. It hurts a bit, but Jihoon knows the pain will go away the moment he starts moving. Jaeseop’s cock filling him up in just the right way and rubbing against all the right places. Jihoon starts to move himself up and down in Jaeseop's lap and soon the pleasure is too much for him to go slow and he sets a fast and hard pace.

“Jesus, look at you working yourself on my cock. God baby you’re so beautiful, so perfect for me.” Jaeseop grunts. Jaeseop reaches his hand up to brush Jihoon’s fringe out of his eyes.

After a few moments, Jihoon feels the familiar burn in his thighs and knows he’s not going to be able to keep the fast pace he’s set for himself. So he looks down at Jaeseop and Jaeseop seems to understand because he flips them over.

He leans down to whisper in Jihoon’s ear, “Don’t worry, baby, you did so good. I‘ll take it from here.”

Jihoon moans at Jaeseop’s words and the new angle gave Jaeseop’s cock direct access to his prostate. The pace Jaeseop set was brutal and Jihoon knew he wouldn’t last long with the way Jaeseop’s cock was rubbing against his prostate. He reached up at intertwined his fingers with Jaeseop’s above his head and managed to whimper out, “Jaeseop. I’m…. I’m so close.”

“You gonna come for me baby?” Jaeseop asked and Jihoon nodded. “That’s good, I want you to come for my okay? I want to feel this tight hole of yours milk my cock as I pound into your prostate. Can you do that for me, baby? Can you come on my cock for me?”

Jihoon’s eyes rolled back in his head as Jaeseop’s words pushed him over the edge with a silent scream. Jaeseop followed right after, moaning in Jihoon’s ear as Jihoon’s walls clenched around him. Jaeseop continued to thrust into Jihoon until both of them were milked dry and Jihoon was whining from the overstimulation.

After a few moment of just lying together, Jaeseop pushed himself up and gently pulled out of Jihoon before going to the bathroom for a cloth. He gently whipped Jihoon’s stomach down before cleaning gently between his legs and throwing the towel in the laundry basket.

Jaeseop then crawled back into bed and pulled Jihoon close to him with Jihoon’s back to his chest. After Jihoon caught his breath, he turned around in Alex’s arms and brought an arm up to trace the lines of Alex’s face.

“That was amazing.” He said with a smile that showed his dimples. “Though I never imaged you to be a dirty talker.”

Jaeseop blushed and buried his face into Jihoon’s hair mumbling and apology, causing Jihoon to laugh.

“It’s fine, Jaeseop, you can tell that I liked it. I was just surprised.” Jaeseop pulled his head out of Jihoon’s hair and looked at him with eyes filled with love.

Jihoon leaned up and kissed him slow and filled with the emotions he found hard to say. He leaned back after a few minutes before whispering a quiet ‘I love you’ into Jaeseop’s lips.

Jaeseop smiled at him, “I love you too, Amore Cara.”

Jihoon soon fell asleep to lazy kisses and his heart bursting with the love he had for this wonderful man.


End file.
